File Under: Nobody puts baby in the corner!
(Ode to Amy and Jarrad!)
Now and then people will badger you about being single. They will think “what’s her deal?” or worse “what’s wrong with her”. You don’t have to answer such questions or indulge in these inquiries. It’s not your problem that someone is uncomfortable or confused by your single status. You don’t have to defend your choices or entertain the thought of adoption when people whip out hand watches and scream about your biological clock. (mom) You don’t have to contribute to a conversation one is having based on their ideas of what works for you or what an alternative plan could be if your life doesn’t pan out as originally designed. I don’t even have a plan. I guarantee (sweet parents, concerned friends, nosy co-workers) your plan for me won’t be a selling item.
Now and then you may find yourself realizing your still a lot like Amelie, despite your hard work. It’s okay that you’re a social recluse. You’ll accept that the idea of being coupled for too long is a little scary for you. That the idea of living with a man is nice, but you’re not in a rush to grab it. Besides, you admit to only yourself- you’re not all that good with sharing. (What if he doesn’t like 30 Rock? Are people who are serious about finding love, concerned about their dude not liking 30 Rock?) Still, knowing this- sometimes you’ll be negative and sad. You’ll wonder if you’re supposed to aimlessly wander the earth alone like the Incredible Hulk. (I do look good in green…)
Now and then you may meet a guy who tries to change you. (run) If a guy doesn’t understand what you find enjoyable about French pop tunes or find humorous about music videos from India (hilar!), it’s not your job to show him the way. It’s not your job to justify your outlook on the world. You don’t have to alter your feisty streak to accommodate his slight insecurity. You don’t have to stop seeing your favorite therapist, because he believes two halves make a whole and his purpose is to “fix” you. (BTW you fix broken appliances, not people.)
(Lastly) Now and then, you’ll start to wonder if everyone else is right. Am I getting too old? Are my expectations unrealistic? Did I mess it up with the right ones? Then (like all the questions I pose to the universe) my answer came. It came in the form of Amy and Jarrad…
I spent the weekend with one of my favorite coupled friends. They are the duo that radiates in one another’s presence. They laugh effortlessly. Their wit is perfectly matched. It’s clear to anyone observing them that they are the real deal. Most people will easily list these things about them, but do you know what I love most about them?
Well first, they laugh- a lot.
Secondly, it’s nice to see a strong woman be celebrated by a secure man.
However, I love that Jarrad has a crazy knife collection that sits behind a pretty glass case. That Amy can smirk as Jarrad shows his “grateful dead” knife or narrate where he got which knife and from whom, as he’s pointing them out. I love that Jarrad preps the meals and Amy is the Master chef. I love that they gravitate towards one another, that they finish each other’s sentences, but…
(Even more than that) I love that they have background stories for their dogs. One is a former pimp who walks to the beat of seventies porn music, his voice is deep and brash. Jarrad spoke on behalf of his dog with said voice. Their other dog, a young woman from Russia- she has attitude for being spoiled by a charmed life, spoke through Amy. You can tell me all day long how you know a good couple, because they always hold hands. (sigh) However- I say, the best couples laugh effortlessly (and talk for their dogs).
SO, now and then people are going to feel sorry for me for not being married yet. They are going to annoy me with questions and even yell at me for some of my decisions. I KNOW though, you got to wait and then pursue the real deal. Thanks Amy and Jarrad for reminding me of that… <3